Disturbing
by Brian1
Summary: After Ash finds Misty and Brock in a disturbing situation, he rans off into the night, and contemplates whether or not life is worth living at all...


**Author's Note**: This story deals with some sensitive subjects, such as that of cheating, which I'm sure most people have had to experience at one point in their life. 

-                       **Disturbing**                   -

-                       **By Brian                     -**

I can't sleep. It's 11:59 PM, and I've been lying in bed for an hour now, but still, sleep is not coming to me.

            Is it because I'm sleeping in a Pokémon Center courtesy room? No…their beds are always nice and comfy thanks to Chansey…

            Is it because the Hoenn League Tournament is about to begin soon? No, it's not that…

            Is it because I'm going to visit mom, Professor Oak, Tracey, Gary, and all the pokémon I left behind in Pallet Town soon? Well, not quite…

            Is it because Misty said yes when I asked her to be my girlfriend? Very close, but still not there yet…

            Or is it because it's Misty's birthday tomorrow? I think…well, yeah.

            In fact, she's going to turn 16 in approximately one minute…

            It seems like only yesterday that Misty rejoined us on our journey…I really missed her. I missed her so much that I finally had the courage to ask her out…I still can't believe she actually said yes -

            Out of the corner of my eye I see the numbers on the digital clock change…12:00, 12:00, 12:00…

            "Happy birthday Misty…" I whisper quietly, wishing that Misty were awake so I could tell her those words right to her beautiful face.

            Beautiful…that was only one of the many ways to describe her. She's vibrant, full of life, energetic, funny-

            She's everything to me, now that I've had all this time to think about it. Everything…

            I don't know what I'd do without her.

            *          *          *

            It's 12:30, and sleep still hasn't come.

            I guess it's because I'm also excited about what I got Misty for her birthday…it took me a while, especially since I don't know how to fish all that well, but I managed to snag a Tentacool and Surskit for her…

            I can't wait to see the look on her face when she sees that Tentacool, as well as the repulsion on her face when she realizes that I also gave her a bug/water pokémon…heh heh heh…

            She'd probably be mad at first, since she hates bugs, but I know that eventually she'll love the little thing, since it's a water pokémon too. She'll warm up to it just like how she eventually warmed up to Butterfree-

            Speaking of Butterfree…I wonder how he was doing. He's probably enjoying life with his uh…"wife" and kids…

            I remember how he used to like Misty when he was a little Caterpie, although I never understood why until later…

            Darn it…I still can't get to sleep…I feel so fidgety and tense…it's like something's wrong…

            Maybe I should go check on Misty. I think that'll help me feel better.

            I quietly slip out of bed, and, careful not to disturb Pikachu, make my way out of my room and into the darkened hallway. It takes my eyes awhile to adapt to the dark as I fumble my way through the hallway, eventually finding Misty's room in the process.

            I turn the knob slowly and open the door, peaking my head through. May's sleeping soundly in her bed, but Misty is nowhere to be found. 

            I begin to panic, wondering what could've happened to her. "Where could she be? Is she okay? Is she-"

"Ash…" asks a quiet, sleepy voice, "What…what time is it?"

            I blush in embarrassment as I realize I had woken up May. "Nothing May…go back to sleep…"

            "Oh, okay Ash. Night…" she finishes drowsily, before she quickly drifts off into dreamland again.

            I quietly close the door and proceed through the hallways, hoping to find Misty. Maybe she was getting a glass of water, or perhaps she wanted to get in some late night training before-

            My ears perk up as I hear very faint noises coming from the end of the hall. Who could be making those noises at such a late hour?

            Oh yeah…Brock's room is at the end of the hall. Hey, maybe he finally managed to persuade Nurse Joy or Officer Jenny how "caring" he could be…

            As I get nearer to the hall I recognize those faint noises as grunts and moans-okay, what the heck was he doing? Come on Brock, you're only 17 man…you shouldn't be-

            "Oh Brock…" whispers a voice that doesn't sound like Nurse Joy or Officer Jenny. It sounds more like…

            But it can't be, right? It can't be, it can't be, it can't be-

            The door that leads right into Brock's room is open a little bit. I stand in front of it, feeling both panicked and foolish, and just a little paranoid. Should I dare take a look? What if it's not who I think it is? What if I'm just hearing things? What if I-

            There's more moaning and groaning, causing me to feel so scared that I feel like I'm going to throw up. It can't be, she would never ever do this to-

            "God, Brock…this is the best birthday present ever…I've missed this so much…" cries out a voice in ecstasy…a voice I've known for over four years now…a voice that I had come to love and appreciate for all it's beauty…

            With that single sentence I kick open the door, and find myself unbelievably disturbed at the explicit scene before me…

            Misty and Brock…my two best friends in the world…were…were...they…how could they…?

            A mess of red hair lazily turns her head to the door and lets out a gasp as she locks eyes with mine. "A-Ashy? What are you doing here?"

            How could you do this to me? After everything we've been through?

            How could you say that, as if I hadn't seen a thing?

            Brock's looking at me through squinty eyes, his expression either showing regret or indifference…either way, it doesn't matter.

            "Ash…Ash are you okay?" she says to me, her voice showing concern even though she's still on top of him, still grinding against him, still going through the motions as if I wasn't even here-

            I turn away from the sight before me, tears stinging at my eyes as I struggle not to cry, not to show how weak I feel right now. I can't show any weakness now…I was a fool to think I could open up to her before…

            "Ash…say something…please-" 

            I don't bother to acknowledge her as I ran out of the pokémon center noisily, yelling and screaming and shouting for all that I had lost…

            *          *          *

            This city is famous for its famous cliffs and canyons, because legend had it that they were created during the period when Kyogre and Groudon, two legendary pokémon that I'm not sure even existed, fought to a standstill here.

            I'm standing very close to the edge of this one particularly high cliff…I know, it's really cliché…going out like this. But as Misty used to say, I was never very creative…

            I laugh as loud as I could to the night sky, noticing how Misty had put me down constantly in everything I did. I wonder…if we had ever made love…would she have said that I was not quite what she expected?

            She always said I was an idiot…

            She said I was the lousiest trainer she ever had the displeasure of knowing…

            She said that she only loved me, when in fact she was screwing Brock behind my back…

            She said she missed me the most, when in reality she missed having him screw her brains out…

            Well…screw her! I don't need her…I don't need her anymore…not where I'm going, anyways…

            What a way for things to end…jumping off a cliff-

            "Ash…?" asks a meek, quiet voice. I hastily turn around, expecting Misty, but instead I found May standing there, her hair a mess and she was still in her pajamas. Her face had a sort of restrained expression of panic, as if-oh yeah, I was going to jump off the cliff. I almost forgot.

            What was she doing here? How did she find me-I notice from out of the corner of my eye that Pikachu is behind her legs, along with her Blaziken and Beautifly. So she tracked me down…

            But why did she do that?

            "What are you doing here, May?" I ask, my voice sounding cold and uncaring after what I had seen tonight.

            "You woke me up…" she replied sheepishly, putting her hands through her hair in an attempt to straighten it, "and I thought I'd give you some company."

            I turn away and look down the cliff. It's so far down that I probably wouldn't feel a thing-

            "Don't do it, Ash. Just because Misty did what she did-"

            Still looking down into the abyss, I mutter, "Why not? I've lost everything…"

            Misty was my everything. She was all that I had that was of any value. She was the one who made me, well…me…

            "That's not true. I mean…what happened was wrong, and disturbing…but you've got to move on Ash. You and me…we're so close to the Hoenn League Tournament…"

            I scoff, not even bothering to turn and face her. "I don't want to battle anymore…I have no reason to, now that she's broken my heart…"

            "Ash…what was your reason for doing it in the first place? I'm sure that you didn't have Misty in mind when you started out on your journey…"

            I freeze, trying to remember what my reason was. If it wasn't for Misty, then why did I want to become a pokémon master in the first place?

            "I…I wanted to become a pokémon master because…because I wanted to be like my father…" I say aloud, feeling a sudden sense of déjà vu, as if I had had this conversation before, in another time and in another place…

            "Are you just going to abandon your dreams Ash, just because of one girl?" she asks me softly, causing me to shudder slightly.

            "I…I don't know what to do anymore May. I loved Misty so much…you know? Today was her birthday…I was going to give her that Surskit and Tentacool that you helped me catch." I say softly, facing her as I said those words.

            She nodded, indeed remembering how we spent four hours fishing for those two pokémon in anticipation for Misty's return. She didn't know what the big deal was, but she agreed to help nonetheless.

            "Did I ever say thanks for helping me with that, by the way?" I say softly, feeling that since I'm going to die, I might as well say my last thanks to everyone who's present.

            "No, but you're welcome Ash." she says shakily, smiling a little. She was clearly disturbed by my sudden change of behavior, though.

            I crouched down to Pikachu's level and gave her a small hug. "Thanks for being there for me, girl…you were the best pokémon a guy like me could over have…please take care of May for me, alright?"

            She looked at me with those small, sad eyes of hers. "Pikapi…"

            I glanced over to Blaziken and Beautifly, and for a second they reminded me of my old Charizard and Butterfree. I don't know they, but they just did. "You two make sure May wins the tournament, alright?"

            I turned away once more, and looked down the cliff. So far down…so dark and empty…just like how I feel right now…

            "Please Ash…" she says once more, "don't go. Don't die…don't leave…"

            "Why do you care so much, May?" I whisper angrily, wishing I could just jump off right now, so the pain in my heart could stop once and for all.

            "I…I don't want you to go." she replies quietly, as she puts her hand on my shoulder, "You're my only friend. I care about you too much to let you go."

            "But…how good of a friend can I be, if all I feel right now is hate and anger and empty and heartbroken and alone-"

            She cut me off as she wrapped her arms around my waist in a fierce hug. "Not alone. Never alone."

            I stood still as her small form hugged me from behind, burying her face in my back, sobbing. She was crying…why was she crying?

            **"Being in love is the best feeling in the world, May! How come you never fell in love?" I asked curiously, propping myself on an elbow as I lay down inside my sleeping beside.**

**            She blushed and stuck her tongue out. "Love always involves heartbreak. I'm not even gonna bother to go through that experience, alright?"**

**            I laughed, feeling pity for her, since she obviously didn't have a clue what love was really about.**

"Please don't die on me, Ash. Please don't jump off that cliff, just because of what Misty did to you…" she begged, holding me as close as she could, still sobbing into my back.

            Misty. What did she cheat one me? Why did she love me? Why didn't she love me? Why did she and Brock do that? I thought they were my friends? Why, Brock? You were my friend, man! You were like a teacher to me! Why, Misty? What did I do to deserve what you did to me? All I ever did was love you…

            Look at me, Misty, wherever you are. I'm here, about to jump off a cliff, with my friend holding on to me for dear life, crying hysterically, begging me not to leave her, begging me not to go.

            Why isn't it you, Misty? Why aren't you here, begging me not to jump, telling me how much you loved me, how much you need me, how sorry you are?

            I close my eyes and clench my firsts tightly, realizing why you aren't here and May is.

            It's because you don't care, and she does. She's always cared, Misty.

            Why didn't you?

            "I'm sorry, May…" I whisper softly, my voice full of regret as my eyes glanced downwards.

            She turns me around, lifts my chin up, and looks me in the eyes. "You won't go?"

            "No. I won't." I hesitantly wrap my arms around her and hold her close, "I won't ever go."

            I guess…I'll be able to cope with this, eventually…I have a dream to fulfill, after all…I have to make my father proud of me, wherever he is…and I have to make May proud of me too…

            She holds me tight, quietly whispering 'thank you' over and over. 

            You're the one I should be thanking, but…you're welcome, May. 

-                       **End**                  -

            Before I say anything else…yes, I know that Misty and Brock would never, ever do that. But this is fiction, baby…where anything from Ash to Misty to Ash to Gary can happen. All you've gotta do is use your imagination and your suspension of belief.

            Cheating is something that I've had to experience in the past, so some of the thought processes that Ash was having are similar to what I, as well as many people, have had when finding out. It took me awhile, and a lot of late nights thinking, but I've gotten over it and moved on, just in case you're wondering whether or not I'm a total nutcase. Friends are great to turn to whenever bad things happen, by the way.

            As usual, this story has a few references to previous stories, such as Ash catching a Surskit for Misty, which first happened in December. Try to see if you can find any more references…a lot of them are pretty darn obvious.

            And now…for the **alternate ending**:

            I close my eyes and clench my firsts tightly, realizing why you aren't here and May is.

            It's because you don't care, and she does. She's always cared, Misty.

            Why didn't you?

            "I'm sorry, May…" I whisper softly, my voice full of regret as my eyes glanced downwards.

            She turns me around, lifts my chin up, and looks me in the eyes. "You won't go?"

            I give her a kiss on the cheek, causing her to blush as a smile appeared on her face. "What was that for, Ash?"

            I look at her with empty eyes, hoping she'll understand. Please May, understand…please don't hate me for this…

            "I'm sorry May…I'm sorry May…I'm sorry May…" I say over and over again, causing her eyes to widen in horror as she realized what I was going to do.

            Before she can latch on to me I push her off, making her fall to the ground as I fell backwards off the cliff, ready for the end to come, ready for the darkness to welcome another lonely, broken hearted individual.

            Mother…this wasn't you fault…

            Professor Oak, thanks for being a surrogate father to me…

            Gary, I'm glad we became friends again…

            Tracey, thanks for helping me in the Orange Islands…

            Green…Amy…wherever you are, I hope you're not where I'm going…

            Father…I tried to follow in your footsteps…hell, I even fell in love with a red-haired girl, just like you did…and I.…I tried my best to be a pokémon master…but…I won't be able to…please don't think of me as weak, wherever you are…

            Pikachu…take care of May…I know you'll be able to propel her to the top, to victory…to the victory that I never tasted…

            To all the gym leaders and trainers I've fought…thank you…for helping me on my quest…

            To all the pokémon I've had over the last four years…thank you…you were the best pokémon I guy like me could have…take care of May please…

            To the Misty and Brock I knew before tonight happened…I'll miss you…wherever you two are…

            May…thanks for being there…thanks for trying…thanks for letting me see one friendly face, before I see the face of death…

            Goodbye…

            The last thing I see and hear is May's small form overlooking the cliff, her scream of anguish piercing through the night…

-                       **End**                  -

            **Next stories** **for Season Two**:

**Destiny** - Being the Chosen One can be lonely.  
  
**Doom Desire** - Wishing can be dangerous...especially when that wish is granted...  
  
**Deal** - Misty and Gary make a deal.  
  
**Dad** - Ash meets his father.  
  
**Duplicate** - Duplica follows Ash in very disturbing way.  
  
**Death** - May deals with the death of Ash and Torchic, and reflects on everything she's done, while on Mt. Pyre...   
  
**Dream** - After losing Ash to Misty, May dreams...


End file.
